Unfollow the Leader

Become the one they watch

👋 Hey, it’s Bryan. Welcome to BEing Human, where we discuss what it takes to lead, perform at your best, and connect Human-to-Human.

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Picture a great oak tree. Not the kind you pass without noticing, but one that makes you pause, rooted, wide-limbed, seemingly still but very much alive. What we see is just the above-ground expression. What we don’t see, what truly makes the tree resilient, is its vast, deep root system. That’s where the nourishment, strength, and adaptability lie.

This is how I think of leadership. The visible part, the speaking, decision-making, and performing, is the canopy. But what determines a leader’s strength is their inner landscape and root system.

As an executive coach, I spend most of my time underground with people, helping them feel, examine, and strengthen their roots. The people I coach are not beginners. They’ve built companies, led teams, raised funds, and made hard decisions. From the outside, they are thriving. But the inside tells a different story.

There’s often a flicker of burnout behind the confidence, a buried imposter fear under the accolades, a quiet grief beneath the latest success. And more than anything, there’s a deep longing to lead from a place of alignment, not just achievement.

This is where inner power begins, not with performance but presence.

Where Power Lives

An executive at a well-known travel tech company recently shared, during one of our sessions, what it was like to sit through a board meeting where the tension was almost physical — the posturing, the undercurrents, the things not being said.

But then something shifted. Instead of reacting, she placed her feet on the ground, took a long breath, and mentally whispered: “This isn’t about them. It’s about how I choose to be here.” She asked herself what her body needed. A few breaths. A sip of water. The nervous system slowed. Her voice came from a deeper place.

Afterwards, a colleague pulled her aside and said, “You calmed the room down just by how you were being.”

This is not magic or mystical. It’s the science of the nervous system, and its leadership is rooted in awareness.

“What we think, we become. What we feel, we attract. What we imagine, we create.” - Buddha.

But most leaders skip this part. They try to fix their schedule, strategy, or team without tending to their state. They want clarity but don’t rest. They want trust but don’t feel safe in themselves.

I tell every client this: You can’t lead others from a place you don’t inhabit yourself.

The Four Invisible Engines

I move through four kinds of energy in the leaders I work with, shaping how they think, feel, create, and carry their lives.

• Physical: Are you resourced?

• Emotional: Are you honest with what you’re feeling?

• Mental: Is your mind supporting or sabotaging your growth?

• Spiritual or Creative: Are you aligned with something beyond the to-do list?

These aren’t “soft skills.” They’re survival skills. They are the foundation of Internal leadership. When internal leadership is weak, external leadership starts to wobble.

Physical Energy: The First Meeting is with Your Body

We often treat our bodies like Uber drivers. “Take me here. Do this. Go faster.” But physical energy is not just about stamina. It’s about attunement. How you feel in your body directly shapes how others feel around you.

When I ask leaders how they’re doing, they’ll often say, “Busy,” or “Fine,” or “Just managing.” Then I ask, “What’s going on in your body right now?” and the answer shifts. “Tight chest.” “Buzzing legs.” “Heavy shoulders.”

Your body is your first signal system. Learn to listen.

Grounding, breathwork, a ten-minute walk between meetings - it doesn’t have to be dramatic. But these tiny interventions change the trajectory of how we show up.

Emotional Energy: No Emotion is Inconvenient

I once coached a founder who believed anger was unprofessional. So he shoved it down until it came out sideways in sarcasm and silence.

The truth? Emotion is energy in motion. When you suppress it, you suppress power.

Naming emotions disarms them. Saying, “I’m feeling overwhelmed,” is not weakness. It’s honesty, and honesty is magnetic. People trust what’s real.

“Nothing ever goes away until it has taught us what we need to know.” - Pema Chödrön

And that includes emotional discomfort. When we approve of our full emotional spectrum…rage, joy, shame, wonder, we stop leaking energy trying to pretend.

Mental Energy: The Stories We Tell Ourselves

Our brains are built for efficiency, not truth. They loop stories that confirm old beliefs, especially stories of fear.

I use the practice of Pattern Interrupts with clients.

We slow down and notice the familiar loops: I’m behind. They’re judging me. I have to prove myself. My boss isn’t being clear. It feels like a constant tug-of-war between the board and my team, between what I give and what still feels undone.

And then, we pause, just for a moment. Long enough to breathe, to see it for what it is.

We ask, “Is this thought even mine?”

Often, it isn’t. It’s an inherited script.

What if you could rewire your brain to track evidence of sufficiency instead of scarcity?

One CEO I worked with began writing down one win per day. Not big wins, tiny ones. “I listened without interrupting.” “I trusted my gut in that hire.”

After three weeks, he said, “I feel more confident. Not because I am more, but because I see more.”

Creative Energy: The Hidden Portal

If you’re only solving problems, you’re playing small.

Deep leadership comes when you create from vision, not from reaction. One of my most powerful questions is:

“What dream lives just beyond what you dare say aloud?”

Not better than now. Not slightly improved. But truly beyond what your current brain can see.

This is the shift from effort to expansion, from coping to creating. The creative, innovative leader is willing to daydream again, to hold space for what isn’t here yet.

Your Inner Boardroom

There’s an image I return to often. Picture a long oak table inside you. Around it sit your inner voices:

• The Strategist

• The Inner Child

• The Doubter

• The Visionary

• The Protector

Leadership isn’t about silencing parts of yourself or pushing anyone out of the room. It’s about learning to sit at the head of the table with grace. To let the doubt speak, but not to hand it the mic. To hold space for fear, but let clarity lead. To keep listening, really listening, even as you move forward.

Because when you learn to lead from your inner boardroom, everything on the outside shifts.

As we close, I’ll leave you with this:

Suffering is not a prerequisite for success. Wholeness is.

And joy? Joy is not the reward. It’s the compass.

So, take a breath.

Feel your feet on the floor.

And ask yourself…

What if I already have everything I need?

Then listen. The roots are already whispering.

Stay human.
—Bryan

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You are reading BEing Human, a weekly newsletter about an honest exploration of trust, leadership, and mindfulness from the bestselling author of Human-to-Human and Shareology, CEO, and TEDTalker. Written by Bryan Kramer, we dive into what it means to lead ourselves in life, business, and the moments that matter most.

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Thanks for spending a moment with me. - Bryan