What Got You Here Won’t Get You There

Now What?

There’s a moment in sailing called a “tack.” It’s when the wind changes and you have to turn the boat against it, zigzagging to move forward. It’s awkward. It looks inefficient. You lose momentum for a beat. But it’s the only way to make progress when the breeze no longer blows in your favor.

This is that moment.

You’ve done the work.

Built the thing.

Learned the language of success in your world, whether that’s scaling a business, leading a team, or being the go-to person who gets it done.

And yet, here you are.

Capable but stuck.

Busy but restless.

Clear but somehow unsure.

It’s not burnout exactly. It’s more like the engine that used to hum effortlessly is now sputtering. The strategies that once created momentum now feel flat. The meetings blur. The goals don’t spark. And when you sit quietly, you can hear it: something’s off.

That’s the moment when the old playbook starts to fail you. Not because it was wrong, but because it’s complete. That chapter did its job.

Now it’s time to lead from a different place.

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Step One: Notice What’s No Longer Working

Before you can shift, you have to name it.

Here are a few signs your current operating system is outdated:

• You’re exhausted, but not from overwork, more from over-efforting. You’re pushing hard, but the return is diminishing.

• You’re achieving, but not aligning. Your wins feel more like checkboxes than purpose.

• You’re leading, but not growing. You’re supporting others but feel personally stalled.

• You’re saying yes out of obligation, not desire. You’re in rooms that once thrilled you, but now you leave drained.

• You’ve mastered the game, but the game no longer interests you.

None of this means you’re doing anything wrong. It just means you’re evolving.

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Step Two: Map the Old Playbook

It helps to look clearly at what did get you here because those tools mattered.

Ask yourself:

• What traits or behaviors were essential to my earlier success?

  (Examples: Responsiveness, relentless drive, constant availability, control, people-pleasing, perfectionism.)

• What systems or roles reinforced that behavior?

  (Examples: Hustle culture, being the fixer, being the hero, being the expert in the room.)

• What’s the cost of continuing to lead or live this way now?

  (Is it time? Creativity? Presence? Integrity? Peace?)

Once you can see the machinery, you can stop being ruled by it.

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Step Three: Identify What This New Chapter Actually Asks of You

This next part of your work or life might require the opposite of what got you here.

Instead of:

• Speed → it might ask for space

• Certainty → it might ask for curiosity

• Being the expert → it might ask for deep listening

• Control → it might ask for trust

• Saying yes to everything → it might ask for a courageous no

Ask:

• Where am I still operating on autopilot?

• What am I pretending not to know?

• What am I craving more of, even if I don’t know how to name it yet?

You don’t need to know the full answer. Just a direction.

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Step Four: Experiment Forward

This is not about blowing everything up. It’s about trying new moves.

Here are a few micro-shifts to try:

• If you always lead meetings, try simply listening and asking questions.

• If you always say yes, try pausing for 4 hours or 24 hours before responding.

• If you’re always executing, carve out protected time each week to think.

• If you feel disconnected from purpose, have three conversations with people outside your usual circles and hire a coach.

• If your calendar owns you, redesign one day to reflect your ideal work rhythm.

This is how reinvention starts, not with a big leap, but through small, low-risk experiments. It may seem counterintuitive, but slowing down is often the fastest way forward.

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Step Five: Redefine What “There” Even Means

This might be the hardest part: letting go of the story you’ve told about where you’re heading.

Because most of us were sold a version of the arrival fallacy—the belief that once you get there, wherever there is, you’ll finally feel complete. Calm. Worthy. Done.

That fallacy is powerful. It whispers:

“When I get promoted…”

“When I launch the thing…”

“When I sell the company…”

“When I finally have time…”

Then I’ll feel at peace.

Then I’ll slow down.

Then I’ll be enough.

But the truth is, arrival never delivers what it promises. Not for long. That’s why even your biggest wins felt fleeting. That’s why no amount of accomplishment ever quite fills the space you thought it would.

“There” may no longer be the title, the scale, the income, the spotlight.

“There” could be:

• A deeper presence with your work

• More aliveness in your life

• More honest conversations

• More space between your gut reaction and quality response

You get to decide.

But if you don’t pause to ask, you’ll keep chasing someone else’s vision. And even if you win, it won’t feel like yours.

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You don’t have to burn it all down.

You don’t have to be in crisis.

You just have to be willing to tell yourself the truth.

The truth that the way you’ve been doing it is no longer the way forward.

The truth that you’re not here to repeat, but to evolve.

The truth that the next version of you will ask for new tools—and probably a lighter grip.

What got you here isn’t wrong.

It’s just done.

Just like a sailboat adjusting to the wind, you’re not abandoning course.

You’re responding to what’s changed. Not fighting the shift but using it.

So let go of the myth that your joy, ease, or wholeness will arrive after.

Start moving in a way that lets those things be possible now.

Now ask:

What does this next version of me need most?

And then start there.

-Stay human
Bryan

P.S. How did this land for you? Drop a word or two, it’s a simple way to stay in the conversation and gently commit to your shift, however small. I read and reply to everyone.

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You are reading BEing Human, a weekly newsletter about an honest exploration of trust and leadership from the bestselling author of Human-to-Human and Shareology, 3x CEO of Silicon Valley companies, and TEDTalker. Written by Bryan Kramer, an executive coach, mentor, and board advisor. Bryan walks with leaders and teams who have lost the plot and want it back.

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