The Saboteur
The voice that keeps you safe
There’s a moment in every creative act, every bold business move, every relationship worth having, where something whispers. Not screams. Whispers.
You’re not ready.
This isn’t the right time.
Someone’s already doing it better.
The saboteur doesn’t need volume. It feeds on repetition. A drip. A loop. A slow, patient erosion of the thing you were about to become.
…
I’ve spent my career researching and writing on human connection. About stripping away the artificial layers between people and getting to something real. H2H. Human-to-Human. It sounds simple because it is. And the saboteur hates simple.
The saboteur loves complexity. Loves a process and a committee review, and one more round of feedback before you’re “allowed” to trust your gut. You think it’s there to protect you. It helped build every system designed to protect you from the one thing that actually works: doing the thing before you’re sure.
…
Here’s what I’ve noticed. The saboteur gets louder the closer you get to something true.
Say "sounds good" in a text you don't mean? Silence. Total green light. The saboteur will even hold the door open for you.
But try to say something real. Something that might not land. Something that reveals you don’t have it all figured out. Something human.
Now the saboteur has opinions.
…
The best work comes from paying attention to what’s already there. The best business decisions do too. The saboteur’s entire job is to make you stop paying attention. To pull you out of the moment where instinct lives and drag you into the hallway of second-guessing, where every door leads to another door.
The antidote isn’t confidence. Confidence is a performance. The antidote is presence. Just being in the room with the idea long enough to let it breathe before the saboteur talks you out of giving it oxygen. And this is going to sound counterproductive, but it works…
Talk to it.
Ask it gentle, kind, yet direct, simple questions.
…
I’ve watched founders kill great companies by listening to the saboteur dressed up as “being strategic.” I’ve watched marketers sand down every sharp edge of a campaign until it could offend no one and move no one. I’ve watched leaders choose the safe hire, the safe message, the safe path, and then wonder why everything feels so lifeless.
The saboteur doesn’t destroy you with bad decisions. It destroys you with reasonable ones.
…
So what do you do with it?
You don’t fight it. Fighting gives it a stage. You notice it. The way you’d notice a sound in an empty room. You let it be there without letting it drive.
And then you do the thing anyway.
Not because you’ve conquered the doubt. But because you’ve decided the doubt doesn’t get a vote.
…
The saboteur will be back tomorrow. It always comes back. That’s fine. It means you’re still making things that matter.
When you do the work, it shows up less, softens, and takes on less ownership.
Not instruction.
Stay human
-Bryan
P.S. The saboteur softens when you stop carrying it alone. I've opened a few spots for one-on-one work. If that calls to you, click ‘start here’ below and fill in the quick form. We'll sit with it together.
I’m Bryan, and if you’re an owner, leader, or executive, pull up a chair. Fancy stuff: Built companies in Silicon Valley. Gave a TEDTalk. Keynoted 200+ times. Crashed hard. Found my way back. Lost 85 lbs. Ditched diabetes. Moved to Lisbon. And as it turns out, you can operate differently at any age.
Now I work with leaders at all levels who've proven themselves but know something needs to shift. Start here - a chemistry session costs nothing but honesty.
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I LOVE this: The saboteur…It always comes back. That’s fine. It means you’re still making things that matter.
Most of all: You are not obliged to listen to the Saboteur. He is just static in a radio channel that also plays nice songs.