I watched a sharp leader burn three weeks polishing the perfect explanation for a decision she’d already made. Decks. Emails. Meetings. More meetings. It wasn’t the input she wanted. It was permission.
That’s the trap. At some point, you stop leading and start managing opinions.
Here’s the tell: if you’re still convincing, you’re not making a decision.
Whether you’re running a startup, a division, or your own business, the job isn’t to earn applause. It’s to set a clear intention, make the call, and create space for feedback without handing over the wheel.
Where are you still explaining what you already know to be true?
The Likability Tax
Every extra round of approval feels safe, but it drains speed, authority, and trust.
Your team doesn’t need a 20-slide rationale for what you’ve already decided. They need clarity about where you’re going, why it matters, and what their role is.
And they’ll respect you more when you stop paying the tax of endless explanation.
The Friction
It’s not just the fires you can see.
It’s the steady grind of everything you’re forced to absorb.
The employee who needs hand-holding with work they should already own.
The rising star who’s brilliant but brings drama into every meeting.
The challenger who pushes back, not to improve the idea, but to prove a point.
The boss who makes everything personal, hard to please, and even harder to trust.
The colleagues who talk a good game but stall when it’s time to execute.
The endless swirl of people who think they know better but never carry the final responsibility you do.
On their own, each feels manageable. Together, they build into an invisible tax, draining your energy, clouding your clarity, and subtly reshaping how you present yourself.
This is why so many leaders feel like they’re running in sand: moving, hustling, even winning on paper, yet weighed down by friction they can’t name but can always feel.
The DECIDE Framework (3 Minutes, Not 3 Weeks)
Define the decision in one sentence.
Expose the irreducible reason - the “impact.”
Choose the door: one-way vs. two-way.
Impact bounds - who’s affected, what changes, what won’t.
Dissent window - invite 24 hours of punch holes, not permission.
Execute the next visible step today.
Simple. Human. Fast.
Scripts That End the Loop
Here are three lines I’ve coached executives to use at Sony, Expedia, Hyatt, Samsung, and Netflix:
“I’ve decided X because Y. We’ll reassess in 30 days.”
“This is a two-way door. If we hate it, we roll back by Friday.”
“I’m not asking for agreement. I’m asking for risks I might have missed.”
Notice the shift: you’re still listening, but you’re not begging for consensus.
Authority Over Approval
When you stop explaining, you stop outsourcing your authority. You give your team what they really need: the confidence that someone is steering the ship.
So, where are you still explaining instead of deciding?
Stay human
- Bryan
P.S. I’m opening three private spots for leaders ready to stop patching leaks and rebuild their leadership with solid piping.
The process my executive clients at Sony, Expedia, Hyatt, Samsung, and Netflix have used to cut wasted hours, eliminate legacy leaks, and step into executive rooms with clarity instead of firefighting fatigue.
If you would like to explore this unique and exclusive opportunity, click here, hit send, and my team will get back to you asap.
You are reading BEing Human, a weekly newsletter about an honest exploration of trust, leadership, and mindfulness from the bestselling author of Human-to-Human and Shareology, CEO, and TEDTalker. Written by Bryan Kramer, an executive coach and advisor to Fortune executives. I help executives make faster decisions and move past conflict.
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